What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

When does a man tell a woman he has feelings for her?

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Our brethren in Europe have fallen. Western civilization is doomed. Why have the leftists destroyed white culture?

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

What are the defining characteristics of woke liberals and conservatives in the United States?

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

What does it mean when your husband comments and likes other women on social media? He has private IG and TikTok accounts that I have no access to. He has saved videos and pictures of women on his phone.

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Why does my penis look like a mushroom when it gets big?

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

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Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

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But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

What if you were the only and last person left on Earth. How will you survive and what would you do with your life?

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

TEXT:

What were the reasons for Stalin and Brezhnev's dislike of Khrushchev?

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Make Nazis afraid again!

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“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

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Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.